1. |
Deo
02:30
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I can’t put my finger on where you went wrong
Grown cold and distant, threaded along.
If you could quickly disengage I would quickly rearrange,
bite my tongue swallow back every word of discontent.
But you won’t, so I can’t.
Can only numb the pain for so long
To face reality once dragged through the mud.
I can’t speak up cause you’re worth it,
so I must watch you feel worthless.
An ever growing crack in the wall,
mind put to rest at the hand of a heart.
Dragged in the current’s pull
in the wake of what you left behind.
You left behind what built you up.
You left behind what keeps you together.
Can only numb the pain for so long
To face reality once dragged through the mud.
I can’t speak up cause you’re worth it,
so I must watch you feel worthless.
An ever growing crack in the wall,
mind put to rest at the hand of a heart.
Dragged in the current’s pull
For the sake of what you knew was love,
and it fucking wasn’t.
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2. |
Accident
00:51
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How could you calling this an accident?
Aside from the fact it never should have happened.
You sit judged by a jury of your peers,
but you and I are not equal.
You stole somebody’s brother,
broke the heart of someone’s mother,
and like a child you were slapped on the wrist.
A sinking chest in the dirt.
The punishment wasn’t tailored to the crime,
a beating heart in a cell, a sinking chest in the dirt.
If you dare simply say your fucking feelings are hurt,
I know you’ll further prove you got what you deserve.
You got just what you fucking deserved.
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3. |
Thumper
02:22
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Knelt at your bedside, head in your hands,
praying away evils that you think you understand.
That might be me, might be my upbringing,
might be your understanding of the hatred you’ve been breeding.
You forced you own blood to suffer a cycle.
Preaching and teaching and preaching and teaching bigotry.
Preaching and teaching bigotry.
Nurturing their nature, for hating one another.
Dying for our sins, dying fearing them.
A single sign of self regret could justify your strife.
Dying for our sins, dying fearing them.
Are you proud of how time has aged you?
Are you proud of what your claims have made you?
All he asked for was forgiving love,
unconditional care from the roots not the sun.
A promise, a prayer, your grace, his care.
We won’t suffer any longer.
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4. |
Sunshower
02:07
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South bound healing hands beneath the clouds
Collect before your time runs out
Taken for how it felt, gifted or granted, it still was hell
Barely broken, such thick skin
The labels, love, and lies we live in
Caught by the bay yielding wave by wave
The youth in me begins to wane
A force so strong to become so bold as the last link between our blood went cold
Equate, recreate
Another year facing the wind
My body can take it but my mind might give in
Not a single point on a fucking globe could be far enough from what you call home
Our roads "diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both" of them
I was always told: "born to be seen and not be heard"
The rain between the rays
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to turn
The sympathy between the honesty that nobody knows but me
The semantic satiation in my head
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5. |
Part 1
01:19
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And in this fleeting instant, a passion is left to succumb-
to the judgements of those claiming to honorable mention.
But if we don’t stand for approval, and content from the ones we love,
it’s that honest and sincerity that leaves me searching when all seems lost.
When I’m down and out,
I’m so fucking lost.
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6. |
Part 2
01:00
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You remain faithless,
you lack the intentions you preach.
Still serves as a jump off point to aim your heavy hate back at me.
Morals gone esque.
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7. |
September 21
01:20
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You left me when I needed you most.
I know it wasn’t your fault, not at all.
I was stuck wallowing in misery.
Never feeling closure, never feeling serenity.
Your next of kin took you away,
saying it was sin.
I wasn’t told you were gone,
I was never let in.
To this day, can’t believe you’re gone.
No conclusions left in the dark.
Who knows how long until I’ll see you again.
I’d like to think you’re looking down at me.
I’d like to think I’m making you proud.
I’d like to think I’m living up to your legacy.
I’d like to think I’m the man you want me to be.
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8. |
Apprehension
02:34
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I wake up every morning chewing on my fingertips
My mind's too cluttered and I don't think that I can handle this
I just feel so caught up in what might happen today, because no matter what I do it feels like there's a challenge to face
I'm getting tired of putting trust in my creator, because if love's a gift, tell me why mine's such a labor?
And if I was created equal by someone above why must I endure this hatred for the one that I love
I'm all too familiar with the disconnect from each pillar and peer
And my surroundings fail to apprehend this apprehension
I dismiss it
I wake up every morning chewing on my bottom lip
Each day's a struggle, but I think tonight just might be 'it'
I'm getting caught up in the feelings stuck inside of my brain
All I want right now is peace but I don't think you want the same
My fate has been suspended
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9. |
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As the rain crawled off my rooftop the same way it once did your's
I decided to breach what little piece I had left in store
Sacrifice the little bit of silver inherent in my soul
To be treated like a worrystone, you cast me down when we got too old
And never let me return,
You cast me down without haven or home
You drained my spirit, broke my will
You took all you could
Now I'm standing on a foundation that shakes and cracks
You branded the words "never right" back in my head
I dug into the skin of your hands and I yearn for the chance to do so once again
There was a time when we were all that we had
And while I wonder where that time does go, I beg that you forget my name when you let me go
Now I'm one with the stones of the sea
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10. |
Ring Out
03:10
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I’ve run out of love for myself.
I’ve run out of luck to pull me forward.
I’ve run out of patience with others,
everything I’ve worked for is in the gutter.
Life has revealed itself in front of me,
I question my worth and what I truly perceive-
why I feel this dwindling shred of need,
to view it from a lens not filtered by misery.
Bite my lip, curse the years, mourn my greatest mistakes.
Nullify the logic in my head and hope for escape.
Watching warmth dissipate lets questions take flight.
Leaving all my confidence dug deep in the dirt.
And I’ve never felt this hurt,
my desire to leave became a fervor.
I pleaded on the cold shoulder of scorn,
won’t you please open your arms once more.
Simple questions, bare no answers.
No I can’t remember when our eyes first met,
mine have been sewn shut for far too long.
Don’t let this gold return to dust,
I’m not done.
There has to be a better future,
if I want one.
I want to ring out on a note worth leaving on.
Be a voice in the back of your head,
be a whisper when you’re gone.
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